he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Randomize
