yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
