Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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