i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
