Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
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