Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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