she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
