Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Randomize
