i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
