dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Randomize
