So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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