i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize
