ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Randomize
