Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
