I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
