so explain again why im purple
no
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Randomize
