Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
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