Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
