it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
