Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
