My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
