My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
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