his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
