To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
MIDGETS
????
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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