I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Life is so much better after having sex.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
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