Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
The feeling are messing with the penis
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Randomize
