Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
