That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
