Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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