You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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