I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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