Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
He kissed a someone with a penis
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
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