Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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