Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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