Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
