There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
