Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Randomize
