areolas are like halos for boobs.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Everyone says I win the strip club
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Randomize
