may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
It all started with a game of naked twister.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Randomize
