Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
When are your genitals available?
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Randomize
