i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
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