i wish peter jackson would direct porn
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Randomize
