My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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