My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
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