go do what you do best...puke behind churches
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
