theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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