I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
