We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
Randomize