So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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