Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
